


The First Ones to Break Free

by LightOverDarkness



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Azkaban, Best Friends, Friendship, Gen, Memories, Plans, Stars, Werewolf, faithfulness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 17:52:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9777419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightOverDarkness/pseuds/LightOverDarkness
Summary: There are some days you just can’t forget, no matter how hard you try.  Not all memories can be sucked out of your soul.A Marauder's era story on friendship.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Twisted_Kingdom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Twisted_Kingdom/gifts).



> Dedicated to The_Twisted_Kingdom for Sirius's sake

There are some days you just can’t forget, no matter how hard you try.  Not all memories can be sucked out of your soul.

The first night in Azkaban was the worst.  It rained, adding to the gloom and misery of the hell the prison was.  Curled up on his pallet, a lone, skinny  figure shivered, trying not to look at the weird shadows the dementors cast on the walls of his cell as they swept past each cubicle, sucking out happiness, warmth, and memory.

He was only a boy, really.  Barely twenty-one, yet condemned to live here for eternity.  And for what?  For a crime he himself hadn’t committed.

He covered his face with his hands.  He was cold.

The dementors passed, and the boy looked up again.  There was a crack in the wall, high up in the corner.  Was that a bit of sky he could see?  Careful not to let his   hopes rise to high, he dragged his rickety cot over to the corner, and stood on it, grateful for the fact that he was taller than most young men his age.

He grinned, something he hadn’t done since he’d been captured, laughing maniacally at the irony of it all. Through the rain, the sky was clearly visible.  The boy could just barely see a star, a large one, hanging like a gem in the night sky.  It was a star he knew well.

Sirius. The Dog Star.

As he looked at the star, memories began to swell inside him, memories of a time when joy was real. Memories of his friends, friends he had loved and cherished his whole life. He thought of the Potters, and his eyes filled with tears, blurring the bright star outside. James Potter. His best friend.

Oh, they’d been inseparable, they had. James and Sirius, the brightest students at Hogwarts. He could remember it clearly, the day they’d found their first secret passageway together. The first of many.

It was a rainy day, much like this night, and of course a bunch of eleven year old boys cooped up inside an old castle with nothing to do after school were bound to get up to some mischief. He’d met up with his pal James, and they’d decided to check the castle out, see if they could find a secret passage that led to the kitchens. Some haughty second-year had mentioned that the Hogwarts castle harboured many secret tunnels and corridors.

“And no one has ever found them all. They say that first-years who try to find them get lost forever. And then they die alone.”

Of course Sirius didn’t believe a word of it. Even gullible Peter Pettigrew had a look of disbelieving shock on his face, that anyone would dare try and fool  _ Sirius  _ of all people. And as soon as the stupid second-year boy pranced off, Sirius and James exchanged a glance of mischievous delight.

“Whaddaya say we’ll be the first ones to do it, then?” James whispered.

Sirius grinned. “I’m in. Let’s go.”

They’d spent a good two hours romping around the castle, and they found at least three passageways.

“Look at this, mate!”

“Merlin’s baggy trousers, it’s a tunnel to the kitchens!”

“Look, we can spy on Snivellus now!”

Chuckling and grinning like madmen, they made their way back to the dormitories to share the good news with Remus, one of their other friends, who’d just returned from his monthly visit to his mum.

“....and so we found this one corridor that ends up right outside the kitchens. You can smell the pudding.”

Remus’s soft eyes lit up. “You went exploring?”

“Yeah, mate! We would have gone with you, but you were at your mum’s.”

The little boy looked away suddenly. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. Tomorrow, though?”

He looked up hopefully at his two friends. James smirked. “Tomorrow.”

And the days had passed so quickly. Friendships soon became brotherhood, and the three naughty schoolboys, with little Peter tagging along for the ride,  became known infamously as the “Marauders”, a title bestowed upon them by a flustered and hen-pecked McGonagall, who often found herself getting the troublesome students out of scrape after scrape. They embraced this name, however, and it soon became their group title. Really, they were inseparable.

In such close friendships, however, secrets are not easily kept, and in their second year, three of them learned something about Remus Lupin that brought them closer than ever before.

It was, of course, James who first suspected it.

“Remus, really. Every month? How long has your mum been sick?”

“She’s, well, I just have too. She misses me. And I have friends at home, too…” he would trail off uncertainly.

“Better than us?” Sirius this time.

“No. You’re my best friends. Come on, guys, don’t bother. I’ve got a week until the next visit.”

But this would not deter James. A week later, he noticed the full moon outside his window, and with a start, realized that Remus had left _ that morning _ .

What were the odds he was...no, he couldn’t believe that.

“Sirius! Wake up!”

Groggily, Sirius tumbled out of his bed. “What is it now, James?”

“I think I may have figured out why Remus always leaves!”

“Oh stuff it, James, I’m trying to sleep!”

“No, no, really!” He hurried to the window, pajamas flapping.

“It’s a full moon outside tonight.” He looked back over at Sirius, who was sitting up on his bed. “And Remus left this morning. Coincidence, don’t you think?”

All the colour drained from Sirius’s face. “James, don’t you think that’s a bit…”

“No, I don’t. It’s perfectly reasonable, Sirius, think! Every month, he leaves for three days. Every month around the full moon. He gets ill toward that part of each month. Always comes back looking beat up. I don’t want it to be true either, but you’ve got to admit, it’s strange.”

Sirius looked down. “Remus a werewolf. Sounds so terrible!”

James winced. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s too coincidental to be true, though.”

“Yeah.”

Silence for a few minutes. Then Sirius spoke again.

“We don’t know for sure.”

“No.”

“But when he comes home, I’m going to ask him.”

James sank onto his bed. “D’you think it’s wise?”

Sirius lay back. “Yeah. I do, actually. He’s our best friend, you know? We can’t hide it from him. That we know. It’s for the best.”

James chuckled without humour. “He’s always going to be our friend. No matter what.”

Sirius nodded vigorously. “Who said we were ever going to dump him?”

Across the room, Peter snored loudly. James looked over, worriedly, “Then there’s Peter. How are we going to tell him?”

Peter sat up. “I’ve been listening, and I think you’re right.”

Two pillows crashed into his face, and two boys tackled the crafty little fellow. 

“PETER!”

“You rat!”

Sirius shook him by the shoulders. “What did you hear?”

Peter squeaked in fright. “Everything. I heard everything. Sorry. I didn’t mean to pretend, I was just so comfortable, and…”

James sat back. “We don’t care. Peter, listen. We have no idea that this theory is true. For all we know, he does have a mother who wants him home every full moon and she lives near a bunch of bullies who beat up Remus every time he comes to visit his Mum and he always gets sick just anticipating going home.”

Sirius raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Very plausible.”

Peter shrugged. “For all we know, his mom's a werewolf!”

James groaned. “Peter, really.”

Sirius curled into a cross-legged position. “Well, we’re going to ask him when he comes back. And if it’s true, I have an idea for something we can do to help him.”

“What is it?” Peter looked interested. 

“I’ll tell you once we know. But we have to solemnly swear that we’re never going to let anyone know what we think.”

Peter stuck his hand out. “We’re really up to no good, you know, keeping this from the teachers.”

James grinned wickedly. “That should be our motto.”

“What?”

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

Sirius let out a barking laugh, and Peter gave a smile of admiration. “That’s great.”

James winked. “I know. Like me.”

Sirius smacked him with a pillow. “Really, James.”

James grinned, then suddenly was sober again. “Dumbledore must know.”

Peter’s eyebrows raised. “I never thought of that. I bet he does.”

Sirius nodded. “Probably. But that’s beside the point. We need to make sure that we never tell a soul, all right?”

James stuck his hand out. “Let’s use our motto.”

Peter grinned, and placed his hand on top of James’. “Sounds like a plan.”

With a smile, Sirius put his hand over Peter’s. “I solemnly swear…”

“...that I am up to no good!” James and Peter chorused, then fell about laughing. 

Sirius groaned. “We’ve got to be serious, mates!”

Peter snickered. “But we can’t be Sirius, you are!”

“Not. Funny.”

James smirked. “One more time.”

Once again, they swore the oath. And this time, they meant it.

Several days passed before Remus returned, but when he did, the Marauders greeted him with a bit more enthusiasm than usual. That night, amid piles of pilfered candies and sweets, James decided it was time to reveal what they’d figured out.

“So, Remus, how was your time with your mum?”

Remus looked a bit flustered. “Er, good, I suppose.” 

Peter frowned. “You’ve got a new scar. On your forearm. Look!”

Sure enough, a broad scar clove the twelve-year old boy’s pale forearm. Sirius frowned. “What have they done to you, mate?”

Remus shook his head. “It’s nothing, really. I just...er…”

James looked curiously at him. “Remus, we, er…”

Peter said, “Well, we’ve been wondering…”

Worried, Remus looked at them nervously. “What? What happened?”

With a sigh, Sirius stared directly into Remus’s eyes.

“We noticed that whenever you leave to go to your mum’s, it’s always a full moon.”

James spoke up. “And you always come back scratched up and it’s always once a month.”

Remus paled. “I...er...listen now, you have to…”

The three boys were staring curiously at him. 

“You’re not a werewolf, are you, Remus?”

Remus Lupin paled. He looked as if he were about to say something, and then he grimaced frighteningly, nodded once and dashed from the room. Inside, he was ready to vomit-his secret was out and he’d have to leave. Fighting tears, he raced down the corridor, fear building up inside of him.

James and Sirius went after him immediately. They caught up to him,but Remus was fast. He tried to get away from them, yelling madly.

“LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!”

He was crying a bit. The two boys managed to calm him down, and they took him back to the dormitory. 

“Remus, listen…”

“I don’t want to! I know what you’re going to say!”

“No, you don’t!” This was Peter. 

All eyes turned to the tubby little fellow. 

“Remus, listen to us You’re our best friend.”

Sirius nodded, and put an arm around the boy. “We are not going to dump you just because you’re a...well, we are not going to ever leave you alone.”

Remus looked up, shocked and tearstained. “You’re not angry?”

James stood. “Angry at anyone who thinks you’re less important because of your condition! We love you, mate!”

He grinned. “And we swore we’d tell no one. Nobody’s ever going to know about your furry little problem, all right?”

Remus sniffed, and smiled nervously at his friends. “I wasn’t expecting this.”

Sirius sat up indignantly. “Did you think we would tell you you couldn’t be our friend?”

He shook his head. “No, no, I just thought you’d be angry at me”

“At you? Never. It’s not even your fault!”

There was a short moment of silence among the four boys, and then James spoke. 

“And to prove our worth, I think we’d better make good use of that kitchen passage and go sneak a few bottles of Butterbeer, what do you say to that?”

 

Still staring at his star, the boy in Azkaban shook his head with a start, surprised at how many happy memories he’d been able to remember. He fought back tears, now. James was gone, he was dead now, and Peter had betrayed him and Lily, then run off into the night like the rat he was. Literally. 

Remus had refused to believe that he was innocent, he’d stood there on the side of the street, looking at his former friend with a mixture of horror and utter repulsion etched across his scarred face. 

How strange that a lie could break apart a friendship that had lasted so many years?  Sirius shook his head, and tried not to think about it. 

_ Focus on the star. Focus on the star. _

It was he only bit of life left to him. 

And then clouds came and covered the bright dot of light in the sky. Groaning in sorrow, Siiu sank down onto his pallet and covered his face with his hands. What did he have left to lose?

And then he remembered his godson. In the hands of ignorant Muggles now, he supposed, but at least the child was safe. James had told him to protect Harry, to raise him if anything happened, and now none of that could ever come to pass.

A sudden thought struck him, a desperate hope swelled for an instant. He’d escape! Almost immediately, his heart sank and he shook his head. He remembered the warnings given to him as he’d been mercilessly condemned to his cell.

_ “No one has ever escaped Azkaban before. And you’d better not try it. They say someone attempted it once, and was Kissed, Imperiused, and then made to carve his own heart out. So keep to your cell, blood traitor!” _

But then he was swirling back through his memories again, and he heard the bully at Hogwarts blustering again,  _ “And no one has ever found them all. They say that first-years who try to find them get lost forever. And then they die alone.” _

James voice echoed through his brain, happy-go-lucky, careless and grinning, slightly arrogant.

_ “Whaddaya say we’ll be the first ones to do it, then?” _

A grin spread across Sirius Black’s face. He’d break free, someday. James had never let him down. Their friendship had been far too strong to be broken by something as trivial as a lie.

So he’d escape. Even if it took him twelve years to figure out how.

And then he’d find James’ son. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
